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Suicide-What Can You Do?
By Michelle Lewis
Last year, approximately one in five teens seriously considered suicide. One in six made plans. One in 12 attempted suicide. Suicide is the third-ranking cause of death for teens in America. Chances are someone you know has contemplated or attempted suicide. What can you do?
Over 90 percent of teens who attempt or commit suicide are depressed and/or abuse alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription or over-the-counter medication, or other substances. Girls attempt suicide more frequently; but boys are four times more likely to actually kill themselves. What do these statistics mean to you, in your school, with your friends? What’s one of the best things you can do for a friend who seems suicidal?
“Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention,” warns the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). “A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.” For your part, eliminate access to tools they might use, such as guns, rope, illegal drugs, and unsupervised prescription or over-the-counter medicines. Don’t leave your friend alone. Encourage him or her to call a doctor or suicide hotline, or offer to go to the nearest emergency room together. Immediately tell an adult. Let your friend hate you for narcing. Hey, at least they’ll be alive to do it! However, while limiting access and opportunity may help in the short-term, it doesn’t address your friend’s underlying issues and reasons for believing suicide is their only option—the heart of the matter.
Where does one start a list of why teens think about, plan, or commit suicide? The reasons prove as individual as the person. “Research also shows that the risk for suicide is associated with changes in brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, including serotonin” (NIMH). Decreased serotonin often contributes to depression and other mood disorders.
The teen years will probably be the most difficult of your life, especially emotionally. But since that’s not very helpful, watch for these signs of trouble—signals that something may be going wrong inside. If you see yourself or a friend in one or more of these signs adapted from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Web site, please call a trusted adult or trained professional—try 1-800-273-TALK.
* Thinking about hurting or killing oneself.
* Seeking access to firearms, pills, or other tools.
* Feeling as if no one is paying attention to him/her.
* Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep (or eat, or work) or sleeping all the time.
* Experiencing dramatic mood changes.
* Seeing no reason for living, having no sense of purpose in life, can’t seem to get control.
If you want to be proactive and head off suicidal thoughts and actions before they become realities, check out this great (and easily memorized!) advice from the Family and Youth Services Bureau. “Remember the 4 E’s: Expect a lot of yourself. Everyone has strengths and limitations. Everybody needs help sometimes. Express yourself: your ideas and feelings matter.”
What else can you do for a friend you’re worried about, whether they’re suicidal, thinking about it, or just really depressed? Many people think about suicide at some point in their lives. “Most everyone decides to live because they eventually come to realize that the crisis is temporary and death is not,” says the American Association of Suicidology. “On the other hand, people in the midst of a crisis often perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control.”
The first thing to do for a suicidal friend is listen. Discuss suicide openly and honestly—acting shocked will just raise barriers. Let your friend express his or her feelings, and accept them nonjudgmentally. Now isn’t the time to debate the morality of suicide, which feelings are good or bad, or if life is really worth it all.
Next, make yourself available and get involved in your friend’s life. Be supportive and encouraging, but don’t swear secrecy. You can’t handle this by yourself—help your friend find the professional support they need.
Finally, offer them hope, minus glib reassurances and pat answers. Alternatives are always available, although your friend (or you) may not be able to see any at the moment. “There isn’t any magical answer that will always make life easy,” says the Family and Youth Services Bureau. “For all of us, there are both hard times and good times.” But with help from professionals, family, and friends, you and your friends can survive tough times and begin to put your lives back together again. True friends stick together for both the unexpected difficulties and life’s good surprises.
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